What's Going On: Trying to tame the toy population

 Grandparents Gone Wild. 

If I were going to have a theme for the garage sale my wife and I are hosting Saturday, that would be it. 

The number of toys our children have accumulated has reached obscene proportions, thanks in large part to years of birthday parties, Christmases and general spoiling. 

And it’s not fair to entirely pin this on the grandparents. Aunts, uncles and yes, eager parents have led to the mountain of toys large enough to supply three preschools. 

So now, a large number of them will go to the garage sale. The other option is to allow our house to be overrun by these plastic marvels, and frankly, that’s not going to happen. 

Maybe I’m just not remembering correctly, but I don’t recall this being a problem, or at least as big of one, when I was a child. 

A contributing factor to this is the fact these toys are just so darn well cheap.

There was a time when toys were built well with materials designed to last more than two weeks before failing apart. As such, they cost more, which was in turn an effective method of toy birth-control.  

That time is gone. 

The time of quantity over quality is here, and nowhere is that more evident than the toy industry. Plastic is cheap and so is the third world labor force, so instead of one or two high quality toys, friends and family members buy half a dozen at the same price. 

As this reality has dawned on us as parents, and as we spend hour upon hour pricing discarded toys for the aforementioned garage sale, my wife and I have devised a strategy we hope controls the Orear toy population. 

We are requesting of all family members that whenever they want to buy our children a gift, whether its for birthday, Christmas or just because, to take whatever budget they have and spend half on a gift and give the child cash or a savings bond with the other half. 

While it should reduce the number of toys, it will also give the child the opportunity to start a savings account for a major purchase later in life, whether it’s a car or a semester’s worth of books in college. 

I do fully realize the absurdity of that request. I think the aunts and uncles will abide by the request as it makes shopping easier. 

But as for the grandparents, well, I’m not nearly as optimistic. There is the instinctual belief that all grandparents are supposed to, and have every right to, spoil our children. It’s a mindset I can’t argue with, and most certainly will embrace devilishly when I become a grandfather. 

In the meantime, we will continue to repeat the same request, and when it falls on deaf ears, host the occasional garage sale at 1109 E. Corning in Red Oak. 

See you Saturday. 

Gregory Orear is the General Manager/Editor of the Red Oak Express and Glenwood Opinion-Tribune. He can be contacted at publisher@redoakexpress.com.