Guest Opinion | Catholic Charities
According to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), on average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men. Churches are in a unique position to help survivors, and many are now heeding the call to become active in social justice work. Following are some suggestions on how churches can assist survivors of domestic violence.
First and foremost, it is imperative that churches recognize domestic abuse as present in their own congregations. It is an alarming reality that is difficult to face, but necessary if work is to be done to combat it. After acknowledging the widespread nature of the problem, becoming educated and informed on the signs of domestic violence is extremely helpful.
Churches should consider having a speaker on the subject address the congregation or encourage members of the congregation to organize or attend a community training on domestic violence. The more literate parishioners are on the subject of abuse, the more easily they will be able to discern its presence in their own congregations.
Perhaps the most important way churches can help survivors is to simply believe and listen to them.
Believing what survivors say is extremely important, as it often takes a great amount of courage for them to open up about the abuse. While actively listening, it is equally important not to pass judgment on the survivor, question her or his motives, or ignore barriers she or he may be facing.
This is because quite frequently, it is neither plausible nor safe for someone to leave a violent relationship. This can be the case for a variety of reasons, including financial dependence, fear or threat of retaliation, low self-esteem and lack of autonomy brought on by the abuse, and pressure from family, friends, or even religious organizations to “try to make the relationship work.”
As a member of a church congregation, simply listening to the survivor and offering support is key, no matter what the survivor can commit to doing. Remaining calm, encouraging, and non-judgmental can make a world of difference to a survivor of domestic violence.
Churches can also offer relationship counseling focusing on equality and dealing with conflict, violence and control.
Finally, knowing where to refer the survivor for more extensive services is vital. Get to know local resources such as shelters, domestic violence and sexual assault programs, community coalitions, therapists, and even housing and relocation programs.
Becoming familiar with these local providers and building partnerships with them is essential, as they will be able to assist the survivor in more specific areas.
Churches are needed now more than ever to join in the fight against violence. From recognizing the signs of domestic abuse to offering support and encouragement, there are many active roles parishioners can take in combatting this deadly epidemic.
If you are a victim/survivor of domestic violence or know someone who is, you can get help by calling Catholic Charities Phoenix House. A trained advocate is available to answer your calls 24 hours a day. Advocates can also meet victims at the hospital and be present to provide support, accompany victims to court proceedings, assist in safety planning and provide emotional support to victims and their loved ones. Please call the 24-hour crisis line at 712-328-0266 or toll-free 888-612-0266 to reach an advocate for questions, support and volunteer opportunities.
About Catholic Charities Phoenix House:
Catholic Charities Phoenix House provides domestic violence and sexual abuse services to anyone faced with these issues through a 24-hour emergency shelter and crisis phone line, court advocacy, educational groups, job and housing assistance, and outreach to under-served populations. The shelter provides safe, confidential living for up to eight families at a time. Prevention programs are also offered in high schools and through athletic programs. Phoenix House serves a nine-county area which includes Harrison, Pottawattamie, Mills, Fremont, Shelby, Audubon, Cass, Montgomery, and Page counties in Southwest Iowa.
About Catholic Charities, Diocese of Des Moines:
Catholic Charities in Des Moines, a United Way agency, was founded in 1924. Catholic Charities wants to offer hope and empowerment to those in need in central and southwest Iowa. We offer family centered services that empower individuals and strengthen families. Our programs and services address immediate needs, but also strive to educate and connect our clients with resources for a sustainable and successful future. Services include emergency shelter, professional counseling, legal advocacy, housing, job preparedness and placement, nutritional support, refugee resettlement, education programs, and more. For information about Catholic Charities of Des Moines and its programs and services, please visit www.catholiccharitiesdm.org