What's Going On: Why I shaved my head
It was supposed to be a fairly simple procedure.
When the doctors determined my sister had breast cancer, they thought it was as minor as cancer can be.
Melissa would have a lumpectomy and have to undergo about six weeks of radiation.
No big deal, I tried telling myself. Melissa will be fine.
Then came the day of the surgery, and the doctors found out they were wrong.
The cancer had spread through a couple lymph nodes, but they still didn’t think it was that bad. There would be a couple more tests, but they maintained their original prognosis was mostly accurate and treatment remained unchanged.
They were wrong again.
The cancer was more aggressive than initially believed; much more, in fact.
So instead of six weeks of radiation, Melissa has started a rigorous six-month chemotherapy regimen.
For as long as I can remember, we have always called her Mouse, partially due to her diminutive size, but also because she could be pretty quiet as a child.
With a loudmouth older brother like me running around, you can understand.
As long as she’s been called Mouse though, she’s also been collared with a less than stellar immune system.
Coupled with the chemotherapy, which further weakens your immune system, she is really struggling right now.
Vomiting, lack of energy and not being able to eat or drink is the least of it. She passed out a few days ago and suffered a seizure, resulting in a trip to the emergency room. She was back in the hospital a few days later when she broke out in a fever.
All that happened in less than a week after her first chemotherapy treatment.
Mouse’s husband moved to America from Australia after they got married eight years ago. He came here wanting to pursue the American dream with his new bride and until now, they have succeeded.
They own and operate a music studio in Colorado Springs called Rockstarzusa.
With hundreds of students and multiple teachers out of that studio, they were doing well. Not great, but well enough to be able to travel extensively and live in a nice house with a beautiful view of Pikes Peak.
Now, their world is upside down as Mouse’s health is in peril. Obviously, she can’t teach at the studio or in the public school system where she worked part-time and her husband has to be at her side a lot as well while at the same time, the medical bills amass. (Anyone who wants to make a donation to help with their medical bills, go to http://www.giveforward.com/helpmousewhipbreastcancer.)
Meanwhile, 1,000 miles away, my life seems perfect by comparison. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful wife, two amazing children, a great, stable job and a fabulous home.
I don’t know if it’s that or the fact I initially underestimated the cancer that plagues my sister, but I feel overwhelmed with guilt and a feeling of helplessness.
In short, that is why I shaved my head.
Not only was it an exercise of control on my part, but it also seemingly gives me an opportunity to connect with my sister in a small way.
As I endure another Iowa winter, I will deal with the daily inconvenience of not having hair, just as she will in Colorado.
One downside though of me shaving my head has been unexpected and makes me feel even guiltier.
Many well-intentioned friends and family feel compelled to compliment me for my actions.
I’m really uncomfortable with that for several reasons. One, I don’t deserve it. I’m really not a nice, considerate, compassionate guy. I’m just not. Those who know me best will tell you I’m arrogant, selfish and even inconsiderate at times. I’m still that same person, just with less hair.
More importantly though, me shaving my head has nothing to do with me. It’s all about Mouse.
It’s about making her not feeling all alone in this fight. It’s about her not being the first bald Orear. It’s about trying to make her smile, if just for a brief moment as she deals with the most difficult experience in her life.
While I do appreciate the kind words expressed towards me, I do ask everyone to save those words of support for Melissa. She’s the one fighting for her life and she can use every bit of encouragement and prayer you can offer.
Gregory Orear is the General Manager/Editor of the Red Oak Express. He can be contacted at publisher@redoakexpress.com