What's Going On: Santa letters beckon Christmas cheer, and a few laughs
One of my favorite holiday traditions is reading Santa letters. Every paper I’ve worked at published hundreds of them every year and every year, I read each one under the guise of “proofreading” them.
There really isn’t any editing that goes on with them (beyond name checking) as the unique spelling and grammar is part of the letter’s appeal.
But yet, I still read each one in search of something that makes me smile and I’m never disappointed.
After I started having children of my own, I started reading these letters from a parent’s perspective, recognizing some gifts that would have ordinarily befuddled me.
With that said, I still have no idea what a zoomer or beyblade is, but I’m sure I’ll learn eventually.
Some of my greater fears as a parent were also confirmed this year when I counted nine kids wanting an i-something, be it an iPod, iPhone or iPad. While nine may not sound like a lot, I was only counting kindergartners … in Red Oak.
My son will be one of those Red Oak kindergartners next year, and I’m really hoping I can hold off for a couple more years (if not longer) on presents that cost in the triple digits.
With that in mind, I found hope when I read first-grader Ashley Schmid’s letter which stated “you can bring me anything.”
On the other end of the spectrum was third grader Jacob Eggers who requested expensive electronics such as “an iphone, kindle fire, ipad and an Xbox one.” However, to Jacob’s credit, he fully appreciates the depth and price tag of his list, adding this caveat “Sorry if its expensive. If it is, you don’t have to get me all of them or any of them.”
Even at his age, Jacob has already learned the lesson of shoot for the stars and settle for the moon.
Jacob’s classmate, Cayden Gillespie offered Santa some advice and a warning in his letter.
“You can not use the chimney unless you can open the doors on it,” he wrote. And after stating he would leave cookies and coke out for Santa, he further warned “make sure the dogs don’t get them.”
Other letters that made me smile:
— Villisca third grader Ariana Bowser hopes Santa gets “at least a 12 day break after all of this work.”
— Red Oak kindergartner Andrew Mac wins the most considerate award as he asked Santa for $100 for his mom.
— Stanton third grader April
Vanderholm hopes her “dad doesn’t put that much ducktape on the presents this year.”
— Red Oak first grader Logan Williams wants Santa to “let the reindeer stomp on the roof” so he can hear him. My question is would that be covered under homeowners?
— Villisca kindergartner BreeAnna Rittgers wants not only a diamond, but a diamond basketball, a diamond play kit, a diamond jacket and a diamond ring. In all fairness, she actually spelled diamond without the “a” so for her parents’ sake, I hope that’s some much less expensive version of the real thing.
— Red Oak third grader Kaylyn Clark wins the most original question award when she asked Santa if he had “ever let a arctic fox sleep” in his house. Honorable mention to second grader Cyrus Mensen who questioned Santa about his weight, repeating an assertion his older sister made regarding potential weight loss.
The most fun though are the children who write things in their letters that probably make parents cringe when they read them. Or at least parents like my wife who would be embarrassed by her daughter requesting a new toilet because the old one is broken. That was on a Stanton child’s Christmas list whom will remain nameless in deference to her mother, who may possess sensibilities similar to my wife.
With that said, I have no hesitation about mentioning the parent of the child whose letter made me laugh loudest.
In it, Villisca second grader Cadence Quick asked for a “guitar and Kareoke machine … and some jeens.” She then makes requests for her sister (cheering Minnie, a doll) and her mom (earrings).
She saved her dad for last.
Apparently, T.J. would like a CD of Justin Timberlake.
Now that might embarrass me.
Gregory Orear is the General Manager/Editor of the Red Oak Express and Glenwood Opinion-Tribune. He can be contacted at publisher@redoakexpress.com.