Here’s a harmony hint to consider

Paul and I met a real, live model family a couple years ago. We suspect any child could flourish in a similar setting, and, if imitated, a lot if parents would look with satisfaction on who they are as a family.  
We met Nelson’s family while in Costa Rica while helping conduct a pastors/pastors’ wives conference in San Jose.
The behavior and camaraderie of our host family im-pressed us. They had lived in the city for a number of years, and their adult children were taking college courses and involved in leadership roles in the country, while still working together in the home preparing meals and doing chores.
We saw them at all hours of the day. We heard them gather things up to help a stranded friend well after midnight.
They were the picture of a family living in harmony.
After about a week with them, Paul told Krista and Joel  if they ever had children, they should consult with Nelson and his wife about how to raise a family. We hope they copy that family’s techniques, rather than ours.
Because of time with them when we were not in meetings, we were able to hear from Nelson how he provided leadership for his family. One unique practice was the family’s time away together early in each year.
Our host explained for this family’s retreat, they go to some “nice” place away from all the interruptions that would come if they stayed home near phones and friends, but a place they all want to see.
On this retreat, the family chooses one attribute to develop and exhibit as a family.
The year we visited, they had chosen generosity, which helped explain why we saw them unhesitatingly offering others the use of their car, their time, their home, their resources.
On that retreat, each independently spends time praying and setting goals, including intellectual/academic, spiritual, physical and one or two others, perhaps something like a money management goal.
When the family re-gathers, they invite the whole family’s evaluation of the goals. Are they realistic, attainable, or do a goal need modifying? When the goals are all agreed upon, and they have had some fun together, they head home.
Mid-year, they hold a second retreat to see how each person and the family is doing in attaining the previously set goals. Through times of mutual encouragement, they sometimes find a person needs to make some changes to reach the goal, or that the goal is either already accomplished or now unrealistic. Adjustments are made accordingly.  
They are not meeting to criticize, but encourage, to pull together to accomplish the goals once deemed worthy.
Nelson said his children have seen their parents admit failures or watched them struggling to reach a goal. Sometimes they needed their kids’ encouragement, too.
Being accountable to each other has been a positive experience for his family.  
The family’s maturity, harmony, and mutual respect were evident as they worked together. They were fun to be around, and each was a gracious, humble, confident, compassionate, and often, jovial leader.
Businesses do goal setting, and evaluate progress along the way. Maybe families could benefit from a couple gentle retreats that help each other accomplish goals, while proving how much they care about one another.
If your children, like ours, are grown. Maybe an accountability partner could be the next beneficial step. Life’s short, live it well.
Marge Warder is a freelance reporter and a columnist for the Red Oak Express. She can be contacted at mawarder@yahoo.com.